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Jess O'Reilly, PhD, a Toronto-based sexologist, says remote control vibrators are some of the most versatile sex toys on the market and can be used in endless ways to "facilitate playfulness" for the best sex ever, with or without a partner. "Not only does a remote control vibe allow you to weave eroticism throughout your day, but it often inspires you to flirt, tease, build anticipation and be more creative," she says. Like most sex toys, you can use many of these orgasmic, remote-powered gadgets on a variety of erogenous zones, even if they're designed for a specific part of the body, according to O'Reilly. "A clitoral panty vibe can be used against the vulva, along the perineum, around the nipples, across the balls, or up and down the shaft of a penis," she says. With that being said, if a toy is made specifically for external use, don't try to insert it in any of your or your partner's orifices — that could potentially lead to injury and a mood-killing trip to the hospital.
The highest setting might be too intense for you,” says Howard. “Or it might be fine as long as you work your way up to it. Either way, it’s better to start low and build on your pleasure instead of jumping from zero to five out the gate.”
The Best Mini Wand Vibrator: Bodywand Midnight
When it comes to lube, you have three main options: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. The biggest thing to keep in mind when pairing lube with toys is whether your lube is compatible with your toy, says Howard. With silicone toys, you want to avoid silicone-based lube, since that will erode the material. And if you’re using condoms on the toy (more on that later), stay away from oil-based lubes, since that can wear down the condoms and make them less effective. When in doubt, water-based lube is a solid choice. An important rule: No matter what, the general consensus among experts is that your toy should be phthalate-free, says Howard. Phthalates are a group of chemical plasticizers typically used to make plastics softer, so you usually spot them in jelly-like toys. Phthalates have come under fire for their potential to affect human health (the scientific jury is still out, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) but in the name of “better safe than sorry,” you can easily find sex toys that are phthalate-free. In fact, some types of phthalates are banned in children’s toys, according to the Consumer Product Safety Commission. 3. Read the instructions. Condoms are also useful if you want to use a toy for both vaginal and anal play (which you can do as long as the toy is anal safe). To avoid moving bacteria from your anus to your vagina or urethra (and risking vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis or urinary tract infections, as SELF previously reported), use a new condom every time you’re switching holes. 10. Always clean and store it properly.
Climaxing at the same time is easier than ever when the receiving partner is wearing the Lelo Tiani 3. This wearable device acts as a clitoris and G-spot vibrator that can be worn during penetrative sex, sending vibrations up your penetrating partner's penis. If neither of you has a penis, you can also use this vibrator to make hand play more intense for the receiving partner — or pair it with an insertable toy.
The verdict: Quiet vibrators
The beauty of OhMiBod's Esca 2 is that it turns any phone into its remote control, thanks to its Bluetooth connectable settings. This app-controlled vibrator is one of the best sex toys for long-distance relationships since miles aren't a problem — or, you can get experimental with foreplay when your partner's in the room. All you and your partner need is the free OhMiBod app to easily flip through this dual stimulator's four pulsation modes and six vibration patterns. If you'd like to experiment with some kinky BDSM play, Dr. O'Reilly recommends taking turns controlling the remote. "You'll both get the chance to tease and enjoy the thrill of anticipation," she says. "With all the options for vibration patterns and intensities, you'll always have something new to discover." It should seem obvious, but a lot of people forgo proper sex toy care, especially if they’re only using it for masturbation. But it doesn’t matter if you’re the only one using the toy—if it’s going on or in your body, it should be clean. “Not cleaning your sex toy because you’re the only one using it is like eating with the same fork for a month and not washing it,” says Howard. “Sure, it’s only your spit on it, but would you do that? No.”
Not only is the California Exotics's Slay #Amaze Me Mini Rabbit Vibrator absolutely adorable, but it has the same bunny ears you've known and loved from your rabbit vibrators. Like most of the toys on this list, its two ears are made from body-safe silicone and hug your clitoris, nipples, and other erogenous areas to stimulate you to your max like never before. This toy has 10 vibration settings to enjoy, plus its rechargeable, so expect to become fairly acquainted with this little clitoral vibrator. Whether your sex life is burning hot or looking a bit dim, the best remote control vibrators can help heat things up. These high-tech vibrators, thrusters, and erogenous-zone stimulators can give you wall-clawing orgasms, no partner needed. But if you do want to add another person to the mix, these toys are a non-intimidating way to give your partner (or yourself) control in the bedroom, no matter if they're near or far. O'Reilly also notes that these toys are a sexual game-changer for long-distance couples since many of them can be controlled via smartphone apps, Wi-Fi, or Bluetooth. "With permission, you can allow your lover to connect to your toy from anywhere in the world," she says. Long-distance sex anywhere? Yes, please.Howard recommends setting the right atmosphere. “I'm very big on both the sensual and the sexual,” she says. “Light candles, make up your bed with nice sheets, put on some music. Really stimulate all your senses.”
